Wait

1

March 10, 2011 by greenhouse04

“Wait.”

How often do we say this as parents?  Children want us to respond to their demands right away.  We are born hating to wait.  And I don’t think we ever outgrow it!

Lately it seems that whenever I read the Bible the word “WAIT” is there waiting for me!  Today I finally decided to take more notice, although I don’t like being told to wait!!

So what exactly am I waiting for?  I’m waiting to find out if little Emma will become our adopted daughter.

There have been several times in my life when I’ve had to wait.  Mr. Green and I waited 14 months after being engaged to get married – not an engagement length I would recommend!  Then, for nearly two months we waited, with no jobs, to find out if we could go to China to teach English.  At first the dream of getting on a plane headed for China seemed way out of reach – but before long our waiting was over and we were suddenly whirled off into a year-long adventure.  Then, nearly 3 years ago, Mr. applied for the pastoral job at our present church and we had to WAIT over three months to find out if he would be hired.  All of these were agonizing periods of waiting!

But the waiting I find myself in right now is the hardest I have experienced yet.  Will Emma be our daughter or not?  Will she grow up in our family, or in another?  In two years will I be potty-training her, or will someone else be?  Sometimes I wonder if this is how a mother with a very sick child feel – will my child survive or not?  Because Emma is already my daughter in my heart, whether she will ever legally be or not.  So I often feel that if we don’t get to keep her it will be like losing a child to death.

So you can understand that I think about the possibilities of the future all the time.  In fact, at times I obsess about them.  I go ’round and ’round in my mind trying to figure out what the judge will decide at the April 6 court date based on what I know of the situation.  Will the judge look favorably on the parents because they did this?… or will she see that they didn’t do this?…  and on and on.

Finally, one evening as I was going over my memory verses I came across Proverbs 3:5.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding…”

Then a few days ago I read Psalm 27:14.  “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

Yesterday I read Psalm 37:7.  “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.”

Today I read Psalm 40:1.  “I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry.”

I’ve finally taken notice!  Maybe God is telling me to wait!

Psalm 37 particularly spoke to me.  Verses 3-7, 9-10 say
“Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. …
For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.  A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found.”

This is what I’ve been praying for – that justice would be done, and the unrighteousness of certain parents would be clearly seen, and because of it they would lose what should have been their inheritance.

Meanwhile, the Lord tells me to WAIT.  What does this mean?

When we tell our child to “wait,” we’re telling them to stop pestering, stop demanding, stop finagling.  In other words, stop trying to get what you want and leave it to me, your parent, to give when the time is right.  We’re telling them to trust us.

It’s just that – trust.  It’s “letting go and letting God.”  It’s resting in the fact that He has all understanding of the present AND future, and it’s all in His hands.

It’s “trusting in Him with all my heart, and leaning not on my own understanding.”

God is telling me to stop trying to figure out what the judge will decide on April 6 and to cheerfully and contentedly live where I’m at right now, with a beautiful, precious little girl who sees me as her mommy.

He’s telling me to “WAIT.”

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One thought on “Wait

  1. Instant Mama says:

    I’ve so been there. It is not an easy lesson, but it is an important one.

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