January 22, 2012 by greenhouse04
Knowing the truth is vital. Once you know the truth, lies become apparent. Lies about adoption are everywhere – in our popular culture, in the words and attitudes of our friends and family, and secretly tucked away in our own minds. As part of my journey to understanding our unique calling of adoption, I’ve taken the time to examine my own thoughts about adoption and write down the truth upon which I will build the foundation for my family. Here is a list I’ve come up with:
- Our family is not like a biological family – it is unique and different in a beautiful way. It is a family to proud of and cherished.
- Our family can be just as close as a biological one. In fact, with cultivation and help from God our Father, we will become closer than most biological families.
- As we spend time together and grow in love, our genetic differences will become less obvious. When we do see differences, they will make our family more interesting, and serve to broaden our understanding and appreciation of people.
- The pain in our pasts will become a catalyst that bonds us closer together as we listen to and care for one another.
- The pain in our pasts will develop in us a stronger understanding of and compassion for those around us. My children have the potential for more empathy than most.
- The pain in our pasts has the potential to give us a deeper understanding of sin and its ramifications, and of the grace and redeeming power of God.
- As an adoptive family, we have the potential for a greater understanding and appreciation of the fact that God has adopted us.
- The fact that my children are adopted does not mean that they are fated for a life of pain and bad choices. As with any child, they need lots of prayer and wise parenting from me, and then the rest is up to their decisions and God’s work in their lives.
- My children were conceived and grew in another woman’s womb – they will never share my genes. However, I am fully and completely their mother.
- My children, while not the fruit of my womb, are still an answer to prayer and a blessing and reward from the Lord.
- My children do not share my genes, but as with a biological child, I need to get to know their unique and individual personality.
- My children are not their birth mother or father – they may resemble them, but they are not them. I have no expectations of them except that they be who God created them to be and that they make the choices He knows they will make. They are not fated to make the same choices their birth parents made.
If you have any other truths you would like to share with me, feel free! I may add to this list as my understanding of adoption grows.