November 24, 2012 by greenhouse04
Yes, we said goodbye to the “Mear-Bear,” Mari. She was moved to a new foster home two days ago.
Her move was our decision. It’s very humbling to admit it, but we’ve experienced our first placement “disruption.” This is the professional way of saying we’ve experienced our first foster placement that hasn’t worked out.
I’ll write about the reasons for this decision some other time. For now I’ll just say that it took us days of soul-searching, praying, talking, and seeking advice before we made it. I know that it’s the best decision for our family as a whole, but when I think about sweet little Mari I just ache for her. I pray pray pray that she’ll find parents who will love her more than anything and never leave her. It’s so unfair that a little, helpless, trusting child like Mari should be stuck in limbo in a system that seems to move like a glacier, while her very future is left on hold. It’s so unfair that the adults she looks to for provision and comfort keep leaving.
And it breaks my heart that I’m another one of those adults that is leaving. She had come to know and trust me – I could make her laugh and smile; she would reach for me in a room of strangers; she was comforted by my presence. And I passed her off to a new stranger yet again.
This part of it is my own fault – not the system’s. I should’ve had the wisdom to see two months ago that our family was not ready for a new foster child yet. Then maybe Mari could’ve gone to the right home in the first place.
But Mari shouldn’t have had to leave her first mother at all. And the system should get the paternity test done so she can move soon to be with her father or be adopted. The entire situation is just bad and unfair.
All I can do is entrust Mari to the One who can redeem even a bad situation.
All I can do is ask the only reliable Being in this universe to have His hand of grace on little Mari – that He would help her to bond quickly and happily to her new foster parents, and then to whomever will eventually be her forever parents; that He would help her to grow into someone who can trust others; that most of all, she would come to know her heavenly Father whom she can always trust.