Ready to Begin Again

4

July 11, 2013 by greenhouse04

Over the past few months I’ve had people ask me if we’ll ever get another foster child. I would smile and say, “well, we’re still licensed!” However, beneath the smile I was thinking, “I don’t know… I wouldn’t mind being done with the foster scene forever!”

But an odd thing happened the other day. I had the recurring thought throughout the day that three children would be nice. It would be busy and chaotic at times, but I was getting used to the demands of motherhood. This positive attitude toward adding another child to the mix had not surfaced in months – since Mari, in fact. I had almost decided that two kids were all I’d ever want or have. Of course, if I were to get pregnant with a third child I’d be elated. Part of my hesitancy came from the thought of going through all the demands and uncertainties of fostering again.

Then, I got a phone call. It was our social worker from our foster agency. She began the conversation with “I know you’re having major surgery next month and didn’t want more kids right now, but we’re desperate…” (or something like that) She proceeded to explain that their agency has recently become responsible for a large city nearby, and has experienced an influx of kids and a shortage of homes. She then told me about two baby girls – a 5-month-old and a 3-week-old.

As she talked and I got more information through email, the 3-week-old’s situation started to remind me of Emma’s when we first got her. To top it off, this baby is exactly 955 days younger than Emma, and Emma is 955 days younger than Eddie! (yes, I calculated… so I’m slightly superstitious 🙂

But the most heart-pulling thing about this 3-week-old was that she was still in the hospital and had not been visited once by her birth parents. Three weeks being cared for by nurses! This little girl needed a mother!

But no, this story does not end with Mr. and I rushing to the hospital and carrying home a new bundle of joy and hope. Even with the 955-day factor thrown in, I had to follow my husband’s lead and say no.

If I wasn’t having major surgery next month that will require at least a week in the hospital and a 6-week recoup time (and if we weren’t going on two out-of-state trips before said surgery) I would have said yes to the little 3-week-old. I’ve thought about her every day since our social worker called. I hope so much that she has found a loving home.

But though I’m disappointed, I’ve learned something surprising through this situation. I’m willing to be a foster parent again. In fact, I’m excited to get this surgery over with and get another phone call about a baby that I can say yes to. So be prepared… there may be another foster saga beginning in the next few months.

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4 thoughts on “Ready to Begin Again

  1. Colleen says:

    we’re praying for you! sometimes God says “wait” and that’s o.k…it’s about being willing

  2. Luke and Melinda Haak says:

    Love this Larissa. We are half way done with our training and already getting notices that kids are waiting for us to be open. I didn’t think I could do more than 4. My plate, my heart, my time was full. God enlarges that heart doesn’t He! Melinda

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