February 24, 2014 by greenhouse04
People sometimes ask how we’re doing with this new foster child. So, I’ll tell you!
We’ve had Baby M. for exactly six weeks now. It’s gone by fast. We’re tired, we still don’t know what will happen in his future, and we’re growing attached to the little guy.
Eddie and Emma have done very well adjusting to Baby M.’s presence. Eddie has been excited from the beginning; in fact, he was praying for a baby to take care of for weeks before we got the phone call! He has been very helpful – “watching” the baby for me and feeding him when he happens to be hungry at an incovenient time.
Emma’s acceptance of Baby M. has been surprising and wonderful. I was worried after our difficult time with Mari a year ago, but I think it helps that Emma is now three and that Baby M. is immobile and uninterested in her toys. She’s mostly ignored him, although lately she loves making him smile, and has even fed him a couple of times! (for about 1 minute each time)
Baby M. has prompted interesting discussions with Emma, too. At times, when he’s crying, she’ll say that he “wants his mommy.” I’ve explained that, while I’m not his mommy right now, I am his foster mommy, and he actually wants me because he knows me best. This has led into explaining how she and Eddie were both in another mommy’s tummy, but now I’m their mommy because I adopted them. I told her that when she was a little baby like M., I was her foster mommy, too. But now I’m her real mommy, her forever mommy. I get confused myself while trying to explain this, but I know that she will understand more of it than I realize, and may start making her own deductions and asking her own questions.
Mr. has finally begun to warm up to Baby M., now that he’s smiling and on a more regular schedule. 🙂 My husband just doesn’t see the appeal in newborns – after all, they just lay there and need fed and changed all day! As for me, I just love newborns.
And, as for me, I just love Baby M., and have been amazed the past six weeks how calm I’ve felt about his case. It helps having two children of my own, and being done with their long and exruciating cases. Every time I send M. off for a visit with his parents, I am reminded of how blessed I am to be done with that FOREVER with Eddie and Emma! I am often overcome with thankfulness to the Lord for them.
However, I also struggle at times. I struggle with not wanting to love M. too much, with not letting myself be consumed with questions about the future, with trying to know how I should feel and think. I often pray and ask God to help me know how to feel about M.! It’s so hard not knowing.
So, that’s how we’re doing. We’re doing great. We aren’t doing great. We’re tired. We’re calmly plodding on. We don’t like the new case worker. We love all the smiles Baby M. is giving us. We don’t know how we’re doing. We don’t know anything. Now you know. 🙂
Next Post: I’ll go into a little more detail about how I’m really doing. It may not be pleasant. Beware.