January 1, 2015 by greenhouse04
Welp, it’s a new year, plus it’s weeks since I’ve written, so I thought I’d post a little something!
I don’t have any lofty New Year’s resolutions this year – I’ve learned that unless I’m very convicted about a resolution, it won’t happen. So, I just hope to stick to exercising and flossing regularly, and making the Holy Spirit more the Guide of every day.
But I’m very happy this New Year’s day. Part of the reason I haven’t written for awhile is because I’ve been going through some grief – grief over losing our little guy, re-grieving infertility, grieving the loss of how I expected my family would be. I’ve had to remember again that we are an adoptive family, especially now that Emma talks about her birth mom almost every day. But I’ve gotten to a good place – I’m accepting God’s plan for me more than I was a few months ago.
In fact, the other night I was overcome with gratitude for His plan; yes, even gratitude for my infertility! I am so blessed to be a licensed foster parent. How wonderful to be in a position to legally help children who need help; how wonderful to have two precious ones under my roof, who are safe, healthy and happy, and who wouldn’t be if they’d been left in their original situations. How wonderful to see the baby boy I cared for and bonded with for eight months, now a happy, trusting 1-year-old. How wonderful to be able to tell a scared teenager that if she’s taken from her home, she’ll have a home with us.
How wonderful that God can use my biggest disappointment, and turn it into a light shining in the darkness for His glory and for the blessing of others.
And, I wonder what 2015 will bring? At the beginning of 2014 I’d never met Baby M. – I had no idea we gain and lose a child. I barely knew “Kristi,” the teenage girl who would become a big part of our family. I didn’t know that my older brother and his wife would be here for Christmas for the first time in 10 years. I could barely conceive successfully teaching Eddie a whole semester of 1st grade. I had no idea how many bugs and snakes would be in our house (courtesy of Eddie) over the summer.
Life is always an adventure. And, thanks to the Author of that adventure, my life is also always safe within His hand.
Happy New Year!